I always have these negative thoughts of me being a Graphic Designer. Yes I like drawing yes I'm decent with the creative programs but am I talented enough to survive in this creative world? No I'm not a great drawer. No I don't have great concepts or ideas. No this wasn't what I originally planned to to do.
I actually wanted to become a Computer Engineer. Or Computer Technician. Only reason I am possibly doing this is because I disliked everyone thinking I was such a nerd and my parents never gave me any recognition of what I would do. Never supported or gave me any proper direction. Yes I was a nerd, I'd get high marks and lowest being a C+ which would rarely happen till I started to not care about my grades and trying to prove to people I wasn't smart. In fact I wasn't smart, to even think like that was the opposite of smart. I gave up and concentrated on drawing and Photoshop. Then came in photography. I just don't know. I like it but I just feel as if I'm going to run into a dead end with this. I should have kept up my grades in high school. No one else to blame but me. I just don't think I'm creative enough. This design world works like this, if you've got the talent then you're in if you don't then don't bother trying. You'll just get demolished out there. I'm one of those people that just don't have it. Argh regret being such an idiot. I should have just did my best and demolished everyone at high school with my 'intelligence, I'm not just saying this, I actually have my reports, which I was looking at before. Hence this negative thought.
Year 10 Marks
Maths A
English A+
Science A+
Viss Com B+
Italian (LOTE) A These marks were for 2nd semester.
Then came year 11 where things went down hill. I stopped caring and stopped concentrating on my work.
Math Methods D
General Mathematics C
English C
Viss Com C
Accounting B (which was so fucking basic -.-)
Year 12... I don't even want to mention. All I'll say is that my friend in my Methods Class (Which I don't understand how I got in with my poor marks from the previous year) would get very annoyed because I would solve the multiple questions before she could have a look at it. And 8/10 would be correct. But came the test of me not actually thinking hard enough. I just thought that maybe being a creative would be easier. Seemed like it was the opposite for me.
I'm just not cut out for Graphic Design.
An everyday recorder
its freaky how similarly we think. i honestly think its a trait of being a designer. constantly being hard on yourself and thinking everyone is better than you. i feel exactly the same. sure i can use the programs and all that but i honestly don;t feel creative. but im sure most design students think like that. and honestly if we wash up as GD's we can always teach and hit on all the uni chicks.
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