turbulenceinthehead

Fuck my life

I can't ask anyone for anything in this house without feeling like shit, without some sort of fight breaking loose or even some sort of bullshit argument. I feel fucking embarrassed even thinking about it or even discussing it down here. Close friends read this. I don't want them to feel sorry for me. Even though might be helping out I just don't want any sympathy. It just makes me feel so pathetic when I get any sort of sympathy. My mum makes me sick. My sisters make me sick. I'm honestly so sick of everyone here. If I could I'd honestly live with one of my friends. I try to not say anything. I try to keep to my self in this house but that just doesn't work. It's so fucking stressful. I wish I had a full time job. Working in the field of graphic design and just have money of my own. Yes money being the main cause of fucking everything and I hate it. I hate money with a passion. Even if I had a lot of it I'd hate it. It would be on my mind 24/7 because it's just disgusting so fucking greedy. It's just there. Something to make things so much worse. I cannot fathom how much this shit annoys me.

I haven't got payed from last week including this week until Friday. The slut must have forgotten to put in my time sheet in for processing because she's saying (I'll copy paste from the email) "Just tp explain to you that you pay will be processed this coming Fri, as Sun 27th is start of a new week. Sat 26th was cut off for pay for last week that is how we always have worked.
Hope this makes sense"
No bitch it doesn't make sense. How does my sister get payed and I don't. My sister who works for exact same company as me. The company I emailed the same time sheets along with mine get payed and I fucking don't. You're lucky I couldn't be fucked arguing and make you explain your self properly. 1. She was nervous and in the wrong 2. I know this because for someone who works in the office and should have above 150wpm in typing and hasn't previously sent me an email with such pathetic spelling and sentence structure did the complete opposite and typed as if she was stuttering and nervous and FUCKIN UP all together. Stupid bitch. Because of you I don't have money. I had to ask my mum who also has no $$ where I honestly do t k ow where the fuck she spends it and I'm left asking my sisters where because they all high and fucking mighty I don't want to ask SHIT from them. You don't see me cracking it when you guys ask me to do something do you? I can't rely on anyone in my family. It's so sad for me to say but I have a closer relationship with my friends that what I have with my family. It's ridiculous. My life is in the shits. And its goi g to snow in my work. Not in a good state neither will your surrounding nor your work you produce.

FUCK THIS SHIT.