venting doesn't do shit.

One reason why I'm no longer close with my 'friends' is because I had a go at them about me replacing a person that was in their group. My best friend I'll name him Abe he's girlfriend I'l name her Bae and her best friend I'll name her Fae and her boyfriend at the time I'll name him Dae. Them four use to go out all the time, never called me and as always I'd hear it from other people or from facebook that they've been out and about and never called me. Ever since Fae and Dae broke up I was now 'part of the group'. At first I didn't see it as anything, then it hit me, "why am I always with them now?". I told em this and they obviously denied it. On my birthday I had a go at them again because I strictly told them not to get me anything. Obviously a cake or card will do but nothing expensive. Reason being is, if I can't get it I don't expect others to get it for me. I prefer to get things on my own. It just makes me feel as if I won't be able to get it and I need assistance. Where as I'm a pretty independent person. They, against my word saved up money and asked several people for chip in so they can buy me a Macro lens for my birthday. When I found out I told them I'll get angry if you continue on with it. They didn't believe me thinking 'I'm such a nice guy I won't dare yell at them or get angry at them. Oh we're he's only friends he won't do it." I was furious. You might be thinking this kids messed up for even thinking like this. Don't forget I was replacing someone because Fae didn't want to feel like a Thirdwheel with the couple. Now I'm still pissed off with that during the time, so yea I might have been out of line to crack it at them for what they did, they were just being thoughtful blah blah. Shut the fuck up. You were being fake. Where was this 'niceness' when the four of you were together? Why was it I only started being so close with the three of you when Dae left? Why was it then I suddenly met Abe's girlfriend after a year of them being together? My best friends girlfriend and I never met her. He would never talk to me about her. Nothing. So now you're thinking whats your point. Why am I writing something up like this that happened in the past. Reason being is because I just found out it happened again. Ever since I've made new friends and a few of them have Tumblr as well. They've slowly distanced them selves. They've stopped calling me out, they've stopped talking to me. Why? Cause I have new friends? Because I stopped making a proper effort to be friends with fake people? Or is it because I'm not needed anymore? Is it because I've been replaced again? Hrm well yes, I've been replaced again. I found out AGAIN BY FACEBOOK.. that Fae has a new boyfriend. How do I know this? Abe is at "the movies" with Bae Fae and the Fae's new boyfriend 'Gae'. Where was my invite? OH THATS RIGHT! I'M NOT NEEDED ANYMORE!!!!! What happened to "best group ever" "best four friends" what happened to "Bros before Hoes" even though shes not a hoe "dicks before chicks" or how ever it goes. Now don't you think I have a RIGHT to be furious right now? A best friend since year 8 where I was 14 I think till now. So friends of 4.5 years (Not including this year or half of last). When you're the fucking nice guy you just get shat on. Take a fucking note people. Don't trust people. Don't expect anything from anyone. Cause they'll just fuck you up in the end. Yea you're going to meet new people. I definitely have, and I do trust them. But obviously not with everything. I've set expectations with them all so I won't be disappointed as I am with those other people. I talked enough about this. As always I can continue, I can write essays, several pages, a book consisting of 500 + pages of my life experiences and thoughts of all this bullshit. But I won't bore you with the one topic on the single post.

I need a fucking smoke.